Kessler Syndrome Post Mortem

So for this one, the onus was simple: I wanted to jump in on DTRPG's Pocketquest. The challenge was a novel and attractive concept to me. What would I do if I crammed as much as I could into a 20 page rulebook on as tight a deadline as possible? I always have trouble with the prompts of these kinds of events, though. I remember passing on more than one I was interested in simply because I didn't jive with the mandatory theme. I felt at the time that Pocketquest 2023's theme of space was malleable enough and within my interests to pull something off. 

I'd had a vague idea prior at some point, one of those "I'm doing something completely unrelated to TTRPGs but it would be cool to make a game about space junkers like Planetes" moments. I real dick in hand pissin' at the urinal at your braindead job moments. There was something about that manga's character writing that made me feel like its episodic format lent itself well to the pacing of tabletop roleplaying. I probably was after that mystical feeling you get when watching Cowboy Bebop while high: Ah dude, Spike's so cool because he's a philosophic kungfu dirtback loser. He's just like meeee. And then you come down and realize that you still have to get up and be at work in 3 and a half hours. 

The bones of the game were built on the idea of using six stats as the six polyhedral types in a standard set. Each stat is assigned one of the dice and when the player characters pilot the ships they roll one of their stats to achieve some task and passing time on a "clock". This is intended to be a kind of a popular zeitgeisty mishmash of Kids on Bikes and Blades in the Dark. Something easy to pick up and run on the fly. Each stat is supposed to explicitly be some kind of emotional or physical skill a pilot of a starcraft would realistically have, but be employed in a very hot blooded anime type of way mid-mission. That seems to be a running theme in my game design I guess.

To give the game some structure, I broke it down into two modes: the management of the space junking business, and the piloting junkers on missions with very clear objectives. The pilots have to amass money to fix their shitty ships and pay bills while managing their own obligations to fulfill their debts. Thinking back, this was probably intended as a way to make a bombastic game about being a sad adult who has to pay bills. I even made a stress management mechanic. And this isn't the fun, sexy kind of stress management in games like Delta Green and COC, either. This was like your boss is yelling at your dumbass because he caught you eating mac n cheese in the walk in freezer stress. Like sorry honey, I can't make dinner tonight, I'm crying while sitting on my knees in the half-bath kind of stress. Life imitates art, right? Are ya laughing yet, son?

Goddamn this year has been so hard.

I'm writing this while off from my day job because I'm still testing positive for covid after a week. Lucky that my job is just giving me the time off, but it still blows. Life comes at you fast with no regard to how well you’re equipped to handle it. That kind of pressure is what forged Kessler Syndrome. I remember being really fucking stressed when I was making the game, too. There was a real nasty crunch near the end of the dev cycle in which I was illustrating, doing layouts and edits, up to the last week of the jam. Then, I just kinda burnt out. I had to cancel a few different obligations and events to get it done on time. Had to back out of running a playtest for another game dev acquaintance. That really sucked.

The most important part about this whole affair was all the work trades I did. I participated in six total, I think. Some brilliant work out there. I had the honor to proofread/edit Deep Space Crisis, Plundered Stars, and Under a Blood Red Sun (as well as a few others that aren't immediately calling to mind). I was impressed and surprised in the ways we were all talking about the same ideas and themes but in such drastically different ways. I can see the power of developing a theme in the context of a scene. I get the prompt thing now, for sure. I was even invited to the DTRPG partner's channel on Discord. There's a hidden channel for publishers? I literally watched it unlock when one of the mods (DTRPG/Roll 20 reps, Kage and Meredith fucking rule btw) added me to it. That was a trip and a half to see. Felt like I was accomplishing something, even if it was so small.

I feel ambivalent towards this game. On the one hand, it was a flying success. The only real goal (besides getting the damn thing done) was to illustrate as little as possible, and to do the whole thing in black and white so I could print it out as a zine on the cheap. I figured out how to license art and fonts for the first time, and that felt like a large leap. Oh yeah! That's why I stopped a week early. I needed physical copies for a small show I did. I definitely sold at least one copy at that show, maybe a few. It's hard to remember that span of a few months. I had a lot going on and was still grieving the loss of a friend. I still am. But hey, some people downloaded my makeumups game on the fuckin' net, yo. I got some money that I immediately then reinvested in other TTRPG indie devs. Bought a bunch of Troika! adventures and 3rd party expansions. Dope, right?

On the other hand, I sort of want to just move past this whole phase of my life. I just turned 30, and my dog died. I hit a real low point and dealt with some raw uncut depression while I made Kessler Syndrome and just kicked it out there to the world. I was introduced to TTRPGs later in my life than it seems like my peers were. My wonderful wife Ashe (editting Zachary here, happy first anniversary, my love!) properly introduced me to D&D in 2018. I’ve only been playing for about 5 years. I feel like I'm only now knocking on the door of my dharma. I'm a humble acolyte just taking the first few trepidatious steps onto the path of the journey. I just started my journey and I just turned fucking thirty. A third of my life is over, and I'm just now releasing my fourth product? I dunno is it the fourth? Is it a product? Is there really no ethical consumption under capitalism? Do TTRPGs really exist, or is all this just some whack fever dream? I released ATB!!! like a week ago as I write this. It's like 1:33 in the morning and I'm still coming down off that Cowboy Bebop high. Fuck me, Spike Spiegal is cool. Ashe and I just caught up on Pyschopass S3, and I'm a damn Kogashima simp. 

Anywho-

If you're reading this and you've paid the two bucks or whatever the fuck I put Kessler Syndrome up for, then this humble peddler of games thanks you! The one playtest of it I did was fun, and I hope that it made as much sense to you as it did to us. It was a fun lil romp. The player characters were a nihilist with a deathwish running from the spacedeath of his wife (Planetes lol, shout out to my boi Pascal) and a thrill junky grease gremlin (shoutout again to my undeniable better half). They did EVA walks and yelled at each other in low orbit while the three of us in the meatspace drank a french press of coffee on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Just friends havin' a goof.

I think that's what TTRPGs are all about, baby.

The post mortem for ATB is up next, but I gotta let it simmer for a little while before I put digital pen to page on it. The Non-Euclidean Himbo still makes me smirk. I have a feeling he’s gonna turn into a Wilderwhim mascot of sorts.

Love y'all. 

Wilderwhim